I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
