try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
