Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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