It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
