Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
