Small penises have feelings too.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
