Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
