Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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