You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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