I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
