Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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