that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize