Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
