its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
