The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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