we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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