chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't think brook has ever known best
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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