fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
