My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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