He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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