Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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