if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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