He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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