Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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