Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
