she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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