his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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