I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize