I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
