Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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