I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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