and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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