i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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