Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
