Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
