im having a threesome with these popsicles
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
