I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
