Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Can you bring me the toilet please
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
