So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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