it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
