his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
