I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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