where am i from again
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
