There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
