im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
