Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
