It's official drugs can't kill me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
