So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
