It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
