i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
