It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
