Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
