Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
