wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
