Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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