need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize