Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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