I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
