Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
