hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
