i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
