in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
no, he came in my armpit
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
smell my finger.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
