remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
