you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I love you. Go after that dick
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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