I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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