I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
