my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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