Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
