two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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