i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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