it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
