Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
